The tree remembers what the axe forgets.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
I can, as the quote states, tell you stories about being a tree. Sometimes the giving tree (codependency much?). Sometimes a tree in a razed forest. Sometimes, um, a tree that fights back? Hahahaha the analogy only works for so long.
I can remember, though, some instances of being an axe, and in many of those cases, I’ve at least tried to apologize, even if it’s years later.
I’m sure there are others I forget.
But more important than either of those is this: when people tell me that I hurt them, I believe them.
I read somewhere else: “If someone tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”
Because that resonates with me so deeply on the receiving end—the biggest hurts I’ve endured have been dismissed by perpetrators—I do my best to acknowledge being on the giving end.
I’m not flawless at it. And if I’ve been your chopping block over and over, you’re much less likely to get that bit of vulnerability from me. Right or wrong, it is what it is, and for now, I’m OK with it.
What’s your experience?