As I mentioned a bit ago, I have been bingeing on Where Should We Begin? by Esther Perel. The first episode of the second season (“You Need Help to Help Her”), she’s talking with a couple who has a young adult daughter with problems. Most of the details of the episode aren’t relevant to this … Read more
Victim-blaming is almost a national past time. My [expensive thing] was stolen from my [car/house/desk/anywhere]. “Was it locked?” She was raped. “What was she wearing? Was she drinking?” (I could make a giant list of victim-blaming that applies just to women.) My purse was stolen out of a shopping cart. “What did you expect?” Kids … Read more
12 years ago, I began the process of sorting through symptoms and getting tests done that led to a cancer diagnosis. In that 12 years, people have said some really stupid and/or hurtful things. (Not intentionally. But still.) My cancer wasn’t some sort of gift. It wasn’t given to me so I could learn a … Read more
People need people to thrive. Numerous studies in the last decade point to social networks as a critical variable for longevity, and for general functionality and thriving. As both a teacher and a parent, I see articles and videos about special needs kids, and to teach your kids to be kind and to be friends … Read more
Every year, memes get passed around that say something to the effect of, “For Mother’s Day, I want to sleep in and wake up to a clean house.” Lots of “ha ha ha” reactions. But you know what? Based on conversations I’ve had with women in the past couple of year, that would actually be … Read more
I saw this meme the other day. (I don’t know who to attribute it to, though the saying is widely said.) And while it’s true, you can’t do it all now, either. Many (most? all?) of us spend a lot of time on things that aren’t important (games, mindless scrolling, unintentional TV watching, etc.), and as … Read more
A few years ago, I was doing a 10k and was maybe a little undertrained. (What?! Never!) Was running it with a good friend and we knew we’d have a good time, even if we didn’t have a good time. Somewhere around mile 5, I got a text from the guy I was dating at … Read more
“We did xyz when we were kids, and we turned out fine.” I hate this argument. If we’re making a strictly alive-vs.-dead argument, the people who died aren’t here to argue the other side. Seat belts, car seats, bike helmets immediately come to mind. As a health argument, young people now have a shorter life … Read more
A friend shared a meme about autism researchers “proving” things that people with autism have been writing about for 20 or more years. I thought about how that is applicable in some way to every group of “other.” When I was going through chemo, I experienced chemo brain, a side effect of many chemotherapies that … Read more
I saw this a couple of months ago and saved it. I knew I wanted to share it—or the gist of it—at some point, but I wasn’t sure how. Finally, I just decided to quote it and cite it and let you just read the original. A good portion of my pro-bono work is defending … Read more