There seem to be three ways of looking at the plight of other people in relation to one’s self.
1: I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did. This person wants to mentor/coach people through it, or try to fix the problem entirely to decrease the number of people who go through the same experience. “It wasn’t good, and let’s see if we can reduce or eliminate it.”
2: I suffered; why shouldn’t they? This person wants the score to be even and resents people who avoided pain that they endure(d). “It wasn’t good, and haha now it’s your turn.”
3: I’m not suffering so no one else is. This person doesn’t understand that other people have different experiences and that their own experience isn’t able to be generalized to the population at large. “It’s all good.”
I see a lot of all three.
Less of the second and third would be ideal, but that requires a level of empathy that a lot of people don’t seem to have lately. (Maybe they never did and lately it’s simply more apparent.)
You don’t have to treat others the way you were treated.
Empathy and vulnerability are not weaknesses.
The proverbial rising tide raises all boats.
Love and kindness are not a zero sum game.
Hurt people hurt people. Help others. Let the tide rise.
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