I’ve been having problems with my ankles. “Well, you’re getting older.” It’s not inherently or exclusively an age problem, and I fiercely resist this mindset. Lots of people my age and older—including much older—don’t have problems with their ankles. If it was an age problem, most people my age and older would share this problem. … Read more
If you can’t see the photo, it’s a screenshot of a tweet that reads: Why does the school pick-up line feel like Best Buy on Black Friday? People are rolling in like 2 hours early to be first in line. Calm down—it’s just Aiden, not a 60” flat screen. It’s meant to be funny. I … Read more
I heard it when I was diagnosed with cancer and in other less-potentially-lethal situations. I hear it said to and about other people in precarious financial positions, in unenviable health crises, in situations with their kids or their siblings or their parents. “It’s God’s will.” Is it supposed to relieve the afflicted of guilt? Comfort … Read more
In episode 798 of the Magnum Edition of Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast podcast, he had a conversation with Justine Ang Fonte, author of Instagram account Good Byes. (Fabulous account on setting boundaries—highly recommend!) This gem came out of the conversation: “I see what’s happening with your body language right now. What word is that?” There … Read more
We tend not to see our own strengths because those skills come to us easily, whether developing the skill was easy or not. Sometimes, we don’t see our strengths because they’ve been downplayed by others over time and we’ve taken to believing the naysayers. This leads to us downplaying our skills while overemphasizing/coveting others’ skills … Read more
I was taking a self-paced course. It was good. Not amazing but solid. There were errors. Significant errors, not typo-type errors. Errors that were changing the quality of my learning from the course. I let the creator know there were a few problems. They were angry and defensive and called my character into question … … Read more
I got some pushback on Tuesday’s post about we the people needing more empathy. Let me muddy the waters a little. You can have empathy for a person’s situation without letting them do whatever they want. You can—often—help a person who is struggling without enabling bad choices. An example: You give your kid an objectively … Read more
Sometimes, we find ourselves in an emotional ditch, and we need to breathe for a minute, drink a glass of water, take a walk around the block, and pull ourselves out of it. Not everything is a “bootstraps” situation, so sometimes when we find ourselves in an emotional ditch, we need to ask for help. … Read more
I was walking along the canal with a girlfriend. It was early morning but the sun was up. We had a conversation about passers-by. She doesn’t trust them. She checked out everyone who came towards us with a quick glance over her shoulder after we’d passed them. It didn’t matter who they were, how many … Read more
It’s been 15 years. Fifteen years ago yesterday, unable to breathe deeply or while laying down, I was admitted to my local hospital with what would eventually be diagnosed as Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It was a long road—two weeks until treatment started (though plenty of unpleasantries in those two weeks). Six months of chemo (extended by … Read more