Our expectations around family are backwards

As a person estranged from my family of origin, I’ve been told many times that I am obligated to be in contact or spend holidays or whatever because they’re family and there are things that you overlook or put up with because they’re family. (I wonder how the family sounds in your head compared to … Read more

Judging competence and the okayness of being bad

Because very little if anything in life is completely binary, I felt myself needing to qualify many of these thoughts as I wrote. Instead, I’m just going to say here at the beginning that yes, there are exceptions to these generalizations, and since they’re exceptions, their incidence is low. If you’re feeling like you’re the … Read more

2021 Year in Review

photo of a watercolor sketch of the word cultivate

For my final blog post of 2021—the year in review. It was a wild year, deeply creative, with a lot of output. This time last year, I’d just finished writing a book (first round writing, not editing and such), quit my job due to COVID concerns, and was going to see what I could do … Read more

Some bridges are just burned

I recently read a short piece about moving through life and healing, changing, growing as you go, and just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean others owe it to you to be part of your life again. This stirred up a variety of thoughts and emotions, primarily: I’m deeply sad about this from one perspective and … Read more

Children and tricky subjects

My conversation with Debra on Ordinary Chaos, included some talk about child sex trafficking or the sex slave trade. Between that and some statistics she gave on domestic violence, I felt it appropriate to put a warning at the beginning of the episode and also to mark it explicit in my podcast hosting service. Many … Read more