Questions, details, and protein

“You need to increase your protein and make sure you’re strength training.” -advice from a medical professional earlier this week in response to perimenopausal concerns. She didn’t ask me anything about my diet, and she knew that I’ve been running but no more. She also didn’t tell me how much I should aim for in … Read more

Self-awareness in helping other people

Piggybacking on last week’s post about knowing your strengths—if you don’t know what skills you have that other people don’t, you typically can’t help them or teach them very well. For example: I’m not good at starting conversations with people I don’t know without context. Not one of my strengths.  In a variety of contexts … Read more

Clarifying body language

In episode 798 of the Magnum Edition of Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast podcast, he had a conversation with Justine Ang Fonte, author of Instagram account Good Byes. (Fabulous account on setting boundaries—highly recommend!) This gem came out of the conversation: “I see what’s happening with your body language right now. What word is that?” There … Read more

You’re audible, even if you don’t know you know

On Ordinary Chaos, I interviewed three beautiful people who happen to be trans. (Listen to those here, here, and here, or wherever you get your podcasts.)  I have known all three of them for a long time—between 15 and 30 years—well before any of them transitioned. There are closeted gays I’ve loved before and after … Read more

Creating a culture of validation

Validation is a beautiful thing on any day, especially valuable on a rough day or in a rough season. Anyone not having a rough season? We often think about this in the context of an argument or disagreement where we would like our points validated, but it’s applicable to many circumstances. • You belong here. … Read more

Tolerance, validity, vulnerability

If everyone taught their kids at least to be tolerant of people who are different, it would help. Tolerance is better than intolerance, but would you want to spend your life tolerated? It’s a better-than-nothing space, not an end goal. If everyone taught their kids that their own emotions are valid and how to name … Read more