I was walking along the canal with a girlfriend. It was early morning but the sun was up. We had a conversation about passers-by. She doesn’t trust them. She checked out everyone who came towards us with a quick glance over her shoulder after we’d passed them. It didn’t matter who they were, how many … Read more
I was on Zoom with half a dozen other people. One person talked for a while about something he knew about that the rest of us didn’t. People listened, asked questions as he went, and the whole exchange was positive and fruitful. “Thank you for educating us,” someone said when the conversation wound down. It … Read more
On Ordinary Chaos, I interviewed three beautiful people who happen to be trans. (Listen to those here, here, and here, or wherever you get your podcasts.) I have known all three of them for a long time—between 15 and 30 years—well before any of them transitioned. There are closeted gays I’ve loved before and after … Read more
Validation is a beautiful thing on any day, especially valuable on a rough day or in a rough season. Anyone not having a rough season? We often think about this in the context of an argument or disagreement where we would like our points validated, but it’s applicable to many circumstances. • You belong here. … Read more
Sometimes, we have stuff going on and a friend will make an inquiry. This is a good thing—we want our friends to notice and care when we have stuff going on. We want them to try to understand us, right? But we’ve all been there, where someone asked us about what was going on and … Read more
A memory that came up from third grade or younger… I’m watching a couple of adults have a conversation. The person talking isn’t noticing that the person listening is clearly not interested in what they have to say. Fear of being clueless like that is part of what stopped me from talking much to people … Read more
I don’t watch TV, rarely watch movies, and don’t know who a lot of famous people are. So if I know Will Smith hit Chris Rock at the Oscars earlier this week because of a tasteless joke Rock made about Smith’s wife, I assume you also know. Others have picked the event apart from a … Read more
I’m an extremely sentimental person, especially about people. Someone recently asked, “Do you collect people?” Why yes, yes I do. If you and I have had any remotely significant relationship at any point in my life for any length of time, you are a piece of me. For better or for worse. Regardless the state … Read more
Spring has sprung here in the Valley of the Sun, bringing flowers, leaves, bugs, weeds, snakes… The trees growing new leaves highlights an issue we have with specific plants here—they have dead branches from the winter. Some trees that grow well here aren’t frost-tolerant, and after an especially cold winter, it’s common to see trees … Read more
In the Before Times, we went to Burst of Butterflies more often than you might expect people to go to a pottery-painting place. It was a family-run business in the city I worked in, and they opened a satellite location closer to home (and easier to park) than the original place. We painted canvases. We … Read more