My standard advocacy for change is small, sustainable pieces. My eating habits changed that way. My exercise habits changed that way. My financial habits changed that way. (I do think there are situations where this isn’t the best, but it applies more broadly than cold turkey, in my opinion and experience.) Bits that are so … Read more
If you love seeing your family or whoever you spend Thanksgiving with and enjoy the holiday as-is, then this all doesn’t apply to you. Keep doing what you’re doing. But it might apply to someone you know. If you’re a person like me who has traditionally not enjoyed family-centric holidays and either dreaded them because … Read more
I recently read a short piece about moving through life and healing, changing, growing as you go, and just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean others owe it to you to be part of your life again. This stirred up a variety of thoughts and emotions, primarily: I’m deeply sad about this from one perspective and … Read more
A disclaimer to kick off today’s thoughts: More often than not, I get stuck while I’m writing because so much is not at all black and white. There aren’t any rules, really, that apply to all people in all situations. But writing becomes muddy and hard to read when it is full of exceptions and … Read more
I’m pretty much always in search of means of connecting with people, and when I heard this one, I knew I had to steal it. You can steal it, too. It’s a 20-minute visit. A 20-minute phone call. (Phone-phobic people, hold on—hear me out!) A friend can call and say they’re just calling for a … Read more
Often, my writing starts in one place and ends someplace else, not usually from any hard turns or non sequiturs. More like there’s not quite as much air in one tire as there is in the other, so we slowly drift in one direction. I decided to share with you the around-the-bend part of something … Read more
I have a document where I save my current writing: complete pieces, incomplete pieces, complete but not going to publish pieces, and a slew of ideas for pieces-to-be. When I settle in to write, if I don’t already have something in mind to write about, I will refer to the unfinished pieces or the list … Read more
“People from the northeast are so rude/straightforward/abrupt.” Or so I’ve heard. My experience is more that if you ask a stranger for directions in those places, they’re going to give you directions and move on. No small talk about the day or why you’re going there or the weather or where you’re from. But I’m … Read more
I have a variety of connections on Facebook. Some of them are people I talk to outside of Facebook; many are not. Over time, I’ve seen photos of friends with a partner who is not their spouse. After some trolling of photos, I deduce that they got divorced at some point and this is someone … Read more
It’s been almost a year since my household stopped doing normal life. The last time we went to the climbing gym was March 14. I’m sure we ate out that night. Some things have been hard. There are people who I would see casually, not necessarily people I’d set up a Zoom with, who I … Read more