Perpetual low-level fear of violence by men

I was walking along the canal with a girlfriend. It was early morning but the sun was up. We had a conversation about passers-by. She doesn’t trust them. She checked out everyone who came towards us with a quick glance over her shoulder after we’d passed them. It didn’t matter who they were, how many … Read more

Cancer: my 15-year rant

photo of me with a shaved head and a PICC in my arm together with my dog and a dog toy

It’s been 15 years. Fifteen years ago yesterday, unable to breathe deeply or while laying down, I was admitted to my local hospital with what would eventually be diagnosed as Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  It was a long road—two weeks until treatment started (though plenty of unpleasantries in those two weeks). Six months of chemo (extended by … Read more

Creating a culture of validation

Validation is a beautiful thing on any day, especially valuable on a rough day or in a rough season. Anyone not having a rough season? We often think about this in the context of an argument or disagreement where we would like our points validated, but it’s applicable to many circumstances. • You belong here. … Read more

Changes in how life changes

photo of a cloth-covered journal

I’m an extremely sentimental person, especially about people. Someone recently asked, “Do you collect people?” Why yes, yes I do. If you and I have had any remotely significant relationship at any point in my life for any length of time, you are a piece of me. For better or for worse. Regardless the state … Read more

Flexibility, perfectionism, and the sorting chute

In a conversation about calendars and keeping households collectively time-organized, we touched on personal planners. Mine is paper, next to my desk, and I designed the sheets. Details aren’t important because takeaway from the conversation was about flexibility, not planners.  For many of us who are perfectionists in various stages of recovery, figuring out the … Read more