Love your people

The summer before I left for college, one of my aunts took me out for lunch. Part of her message to me that day was: things don’t always go according to plan. Plan accordingly.

Somewhere in her early 20s, a year-ish after she was first married, her husband died. Brain tumor, maybe? I don’t remember the whole story, except that it was medical, unavoidable, unexpected, and had to do with his brain. Oh, and his family blamed his death on her. Because being a young newlywed who is suddenly a widow isn’t bad enough.

An acquaintance from college married shortly after graduation. On a trip celebrating their first anniversary, he fell off a cliff and died.

A friend lost her husband to cancer in their early 30s.

I can think of four people off the top of my head who have lost a close friend or family member to suicide.

I’ve lost friends to cancer.

Earlier this week, a colleague unexpectedly lost her husband.

All of these stories of loss come flooding back.

Your spouse still around? What about your kids? Friends?

Give them all a hug. Tell them you love them. Show them you love them. Put down your defenses and just love the shit out of them. Because we never know when they won’t be here to show love to any more. And who wants to be loved only at their services?



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