This time of year is, for many people, brutal. Schedules. Expectations. Hopes. Dreams. Memories. Parents. Kids. Spouses. Friends. Other communities. Decorations. Gifts. Meals. Sweets. Parties. Religion. Other religions. Politics. Please, for your mental and physical health, first trim the lists, then trim the lists again, then delegate. Ladies, as a generalization, we are bad at … Read more
I was chatting with a colleague the other day about writing and teaching kids to write, and how difficult it is. We came to the conclusion that the majority of us are afraid to be vulnerable (and creativity is extremely vulnerable), and that we can’t just do our own thing without comparing our output to … Read more
There’s a short podcast series (four episodes) called UnErased, talking about the history of gay conversion therapy in the US. It’s captivating. You’ll experience at least most of the span of human emotions listening to it—or at least, I did. In the last episode, they spend time with John Smid, a man among the leadership … Read more
The thing about families … it’s most often the people who are unpleasant who “win” because we don’t want to cause problems. We somehow take ownership of others’ bad behavior. When we avoid saying something or trying to change something, when we show up even though it’s awful and silently wait for it to pass, … Read more
This post is for anyone who will be hosting any type of gathering this holiday season, especially if it’s one—like Thanksgiving dinner—that has a very definite set of expectations around it. Lots of things can be good enough and everyone will be happy. The people who are not happy with good enough are never happy … Read more
When you are Other in your family—for whatever reason—holidays are stressful. I always felt trapped on Thanksgiving and Christmas, because “the holidays are about family” but my family was toxic. There was nowhere else to go when I was living at home, and it took me moving across the country to be able to set … Read more
I listened to Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown. (OK, I listened to part of it. But audiobooks and I have a complicated relationship, and I didn’t finish it before it was due back at the library.) Given my unpleasant relationship with my family of origin, this quote spoke to me. There is something comforting … Read more
Sometimes, a little tiny bit of something I read or listen to sticks with me. I’d like to share these bits with you. I haven’t decided if I’m going to ramble on about them or just leave them here for you to take or leave. Probably some of each, really. Anyway. Right now, I’m reading … Read more