Posted in about me, mindset, vulnerability

Some days, I look tired

There’s a new-to-my-awareness probably-MLM line of products being hawked in my Facebook feed.

“Total makeover. Only takes 10 minutes!”

But you know what?

I like my face.

Some days, I have bags under my eyes, because I’m tired. Some days, I’m exhausted and have full-blown suitcases.

I’m at the point where I have creases in my forehead and crows feet next to my eyes.

This is me.

My path has not been easy, and I have the creases to show for it. But I’ve laughed a lot along the way, and I have the creases to show for that, too.

Also, I’ve spent 20 years raising my eyebrows at kids, and I have the creases to show for that.

The last five years have been especially unkind to my skin. Stress is unforgiving like that; age was a sidekick.

This is me.

I could buy stuff and try to cover it all up, but then who you see wouldn’t be me any more. It would be some weird likeness. A china doll version.

I’ve been spoken to pretty harshly for my opinions on makeup.

But really, I wish we could all just like our faces.

Posted in about me, food, mindset

Food adjectives

We need to change some of our language surrounding food.

I do my best not to use the words “good” and “bad” when talking about food. Except when something doesn’t pass the sniff test. Then it’s bad.

“Good” could describe tastiness, it could describe healthiness, it could describe virtuousness.

We’ve made some unfortunate connections between those three things.

If it’s healthy, it’s not tasty, but it’s virtuous. If it’s tasty, it’s unhealthy and transgressive, unless it’s a reward, then it’s not transgressive…unless it’s too big a reward—then it’s transgressive again.

You know those things don’t inherently connect like that, right?

Let’s quickly pick apart those three things.

Tasty

You like how it tastes or you don’t. (Or sort of do, or like it in small quantities, then that’s enough, or wherever it lands on the yummy continuum.) This is completely subjective.

Healthy

It provides nutrients, vitamins, minerals, water that are necessary for optimal body functioning without providing too much (or any) of other substances that are unnecessary and/or toxic.

There is some variation in this because people have different sensitivities and allergies to foods, but there are some basic things that all bodies need.

Virtuous

This is a cultural thing and is completely tied to the first two, but only because we tied them together.

Because the virtue is tied in, when we want to rebel, we can eat a bunch of food that makes us feel physically sick but emotionally satisfied. We can do that often enough that we don’t feel physically sick any more when we do it, but the emotional ties are still there.

Because of all of this, and because of the additional boatloads of baggage emotionally connected to food, I do my best to be specific.

“This food is tasty.”

“I’d like to find something healthy.”

And I do my best to take the virtue out.

What I eat either moves me towards my goals or it doesn’t. Or it doesn’t but I’ve made a decision to let that go for whatever reason.

There’s no use in eating something and feeling guilty about it. Either eat it and enjoy it, or don’t eat it. But that’s starting a new thread for another day…

Posted in about me, ebb & flow

Take a little break

The creeping crud is creeping around here. The Kid has missed two days of school. I’m just starting to get a little stuffy. The Climbing Daddy has been coughing a bit.

This afternoon, The Kid and I needed something a little different. So we took coloring sheets and colored pencils out back on the porch, sat in the sun, and colored for half an hour.

Half an hour outside in the sun, unplugged, relaxing, together.

Good for the heart, mind, body.

I’m not in a regular habit of relaxing like that, and I know many others aren’t, either.

Take some time to recharge. You’ll feel better. You’ll be a better mom/spouse/friend/employee.

Posted in gifts, mindset, thoughtfulness

Random acts of kindness

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness yesterday. Even though it was “useless,” it made my day. Here’s what happened.

There was A Thing I saw at Costco and debated buying for a friend. Debated a bit, decided with The Climbing Daddy that yes, we should get it. Went back, and it was gone. Checked back a bit later and it was not restocked (and was not going to be).

The thing about Costco is that you can’t call and talk to someone about general stock. Or I couldn’t.

I’m not a phone person AT ALL, but I’m even less a “drive around to all of the local Costcos” person.

So we checked another (also sold out) and then asked them if they could tell us if any locations had it.

Yes, one. About half an hour from here.

So after work before picking up The Kid from school, I drove out there.

As I entered the section where it would be if it were still to be there, a chipper employee asked me if I needed help.

“I’m looking for A Thing and [other location] said you have a bunch.”

“Hm. How many is a bunch?” he asked as we started to walk towards the answer.

“They said you have nine, but I only need one.”

The conversation went on a bit before he clarified, “You came all the way up here from [other location]?”

Yup. No one else has them.

“We have to take care of you!” And he put A Thing in my cart. I thanked him, considered myself “taken care of,” and on we went.

A minute or so later, as I was finally getting out of that area (it was crowded! and Costco carts do not squeeze through anywhere…), he leaned over my cart, put in a roasted chicken with a note on it, and said, “Lunch!”

The note indicated to the cashier that it was free.

It was such a random and nice thing to do.

I don’t eat meat; been vegetarian for almost 11 years. No way he would have known that. Doesn’t diminish his kindness a bit.

(I texted The Climbing Daddy to see if he wanted it. If not, I would have offered it to a friend or given it to one of the panhandlers.)

So if this little kindness made my day, imagine what you could do for someone—whether you know them or not—with something unexpected and nice. Doesn’t have to be a gift.

(And if you know the person, it should be something that reflects them. If someone in my social circle gave me a cooked chicken, the reception would be different…)

I’ve gotten better about complimenting people I see out and about. I’ve been on and off the wagon with regards to sending people nice notes in the mail. (Real mail. Handwritten.)

How can you make someone’s day today?

Posted in ebb & flow, gifts, hope, mindset, podcasts, storytelling, thoughtfulness, vulnerability

Podcast quote: creativity (and so much more)

TED has started a new podcast series called TED Interviews, where Chris Anderson interviews people who have give TED talks about their talks, and they get more in depth.

I haven’t quite listened to all of them, but all that I’ve listened to have been captivating. (As of this writing, there are only six of them.)

I listened to an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert, mostly known for writing Eat, Pray, Love. (I haven’t read it.)

First, they got into creativity. She talked a short bit about the history of creativity (who knew there was one?!) I loved the imagery in what she had to say:

“The way I describe it is the way I’ve empirically experienced it, which is broken down in my life to this notion: that ideas are living entities. They have consciousness. They don’t have matter. They can’t be seen, they can’t be felt, they can’t be proven, but they have will. And the way I picture it—and it’s sort of whimsical but I have also literally based my life on this—is the universe is sort of swirling with these ideas that wish to be created and they’re constantly looking for human collaborators because for some reason we have this oddly sensitive consciousness that can hear them and find them. And so the way I picture it is they sort of just roam around being like, ‘Are you my mother? Are you my mother? Are you my mother?’ And every single human who is struck by inspiration describes the experience exactly the same way … there’s this distraction where the idea sort of consumes you and in that consuming which can take months, weeks, years, the idea is interviewing you and asking you, ‘Do you wanna do this thing with me or not?’ And that’s the most important conversation that I think human beings can have, is that dialogue between your willingness to cooperate and show up and make something with this idea and manifest it and the idea’s desire to be made and the question of whether you are indeed the right partner.”

Whimsical was a solid word to describe the idea, but I love the imagery. Even more, though, I love the ownership of the work, and how the idea doesn’t just come and magically happen—it’s a partnership. “Your labor is the contribution to the miracle.” (She says that later.)

She talked more about that in other places in the podcast as well.

They also talked about curiosity vs. passion, enchantment vs. empiricism, fear, memes (not the pictures on the internet), secular magic, dark night of the soul, why to do the work if it’s likely to fail, and quite a bit about grieving.

It’s an hour long, and it’s well worth your hour. I listened to it twice, in addition to the bits I listened and paused so I could transcribe.