“I’ve had a medical condition that’s required me to be taken care of for the last few years and now I’m ready to be taken seriously.” Despite the quotation marks it’s not a direct quote, but it is the story of a person I was in conversation with recently. She was maybe in her 30s? … Read more
I heard it when I was diagnosed with cancer and in other less-potentially-lethal situations. I hear it said to and about other people in precarious financial positions, in unenviable health crises, in situations with their kids or their siblings or their parents. “It’s God’s will.” Is it supposed to relieve the afflicted of guilt? Comfort … Read more
Piggybacking on last week’s post about knowing your strengths—if you don’t know what skills you have that other people don’t, you typically can’t help them or teach them very well. For example: I’m not good at starting conversations with people I don’t know without context. Not one of my strengths. In a variety of contexts … Read more
We tend not to see our own strengths because those skills come to us easily, whether developing the skill was easy or not. Sometimes, we don’t see our strengths because they’ve been downplayed by others over time and we’ve taken to believing the naysayers. This leads to us downplaying our skills while overemphasizing/coveting others’ skills … Read more
Sometimes, the people who encourage others to “turn your lemons into lemonade!” already have a pitcher and sugar and water and ice and a knife and maybe even a juicer and can’t see that it’s not that simple for someone without those things.
I got some pushback on Tuesday’s post about we the people needing more empathy. Let me muddy the waters a little. You can have empathy for a person’s situation without letting them do whatever they want. You can—often—help a person who is struggling without enabling bad choices. An example: You give your kid an objectively … Read more
Twice in the last few months, two middle-age or older men who know me only in the context of Heat have addressed me as Heather. Both went a bit out of their way to ensure I’d notice they called me Heather and not Heat. I think it’s weird. I’ve been told explicitly—also by middle-aged or … Read more
Most jobs have a degree of complexity and/or nuance not visible to people outside of the job, even if they’re in the same work place, and running a household is on that list, especially if there are children involved. Babies are time- and energy-consuming. Even babies with lovely dispositions without food issues who sleep well … Read more
Climbing Daddy and I went to Austin recently to see a performance by Hannah Gadsby. She is autistic, which she’s spoken about very openly in her shows. We received an email saying that the doors opened at 6, show started at 7, and late arrivals would be seated when there was an appropriate break in … Read more
I was walking along the canal with a girlfriend. It was early morning but the sun was up. We had a conversation about passers-by. She doesn’t trust them. She checked out everyone who came towards us with a quick glance over her shoulder after we’d passed them. It didn’t matter who they were, how many … Read more