I heard it when I was diagnosed with cancer and in other less-potentially-lethal situations. I hear it said to and about other people in precarious financial positions, in unenviable health crises, in situations with their kids or their siblings or their parents. “It’s God’s will.” Is it supposed to relieve the afflicted of guilt? Comfort … Read more
It’s been 15 years. Fifteen years ago yesterday, unable to breathe deeply or while laying down, I was admitted to my local hospital with what would eventually be diagnosed as Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It was a long road—two weeks until treatment started (though plenty of unpleasantries in those two weeks). Six months of chemo (extended by … Read more
Yesterday would have been my friend Michelle’s 45th birthday, if cancer hadn’t taken her when she was 38. Yesterday, a friend had a memorial service across the country for her mom who died of cancer earlier this year. They were both from the same state which made their coinciding date stick out to me more … Read more
Lucky number 13! Thirteen years ago, I started my cancer journey (though the diagnosis didn’t come for another week or so). It changed everything and it changed nothing. It was not a blessing in disguise. It didn’t “happen for a reason” (except for whatever the biological root causes were … for which science has guesses … Read more
It was a long, rectangular room, with posh reclining chairs lining three walls and turning the corners on the fourth. The remaining space had a counter with cabinets and maybe a sink behind it. I don’t remember more detail than that. Except that attached to the front side of the counter was a small Liberty … Read more
A friend’s father-in-law is in his final hours. I would not text her right now to complain about … anything. Thinking about that led me to realize that perhaps people get situations confused. Or just aren’t able to find out what direction to go in other difficult situations. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, … Read more
The Climbing Daddy, The Kid, and I went to a Phoenix Mercury game over the weekend. It so happened that it was “Rock the Pink” night. I was not excited. They honored breast cancer survivors, which was nice, and every seat had a pink Rock the Pink rally towel on it. Pre-recorded interviews with some … Read more
When someone dies, those close to the deceased have an onslaught of well-wishers. When someone is diagnosed with cancer or another critical health issue, they have a similar herd of well-wishers. When someone has another unfortunate life event, they have immediate help and concern. The thing is … the support dies off well before needed … Read more
In my masters program, I had a class on group counseling. It was one of the most interesting classes I’ve ever taken. A tiny slice that I remember: in talking about group therapy, you can put depressed people together and they don’t amplify each other’s depression. You can put anxious people together, and they don’t … Read more
The post that is going around (again) about cancer patients having only one wish—to kick cancer’s butt—is short-sighted and shows a lack of understanding of what cancer patients go through. Of course cancer patients want to beat cancer and go on to live a healthy life. (There are people with cancer who refuse treatment and … Read more