I was on Zoom with half a dozen other people. One person talked for a while about something he knew about that the rest of us didn’t. People listened, asked questions as he went, and the whole exchange was positive and fruitful. “Thank you for educating us,” someone said when the conversation wound down. It … Read more
On Ordinary Chaos, I interviewed three beautiful people who happen to be trans. (Listen to those here, here, and here, or wherever you get your podcasts.) I have known all three of them for a long time—between 15 and 30 years—well before any of them transitioned. There are closeted gays I’ve loved before and after … Read more
Validation is a beautiful thing on any day, especially valuable on a rough day or in a rough season. Anyone not having a rough season? We often think about this in the context of an argument or disagreement where we would like our points validated, but it’s applicable to many circumstances. • You belong here. … Read more
Adults telling teenagers that they’re in the best years of their life always struck me as kind of gross, especially if the teens in question weren’t having a particularly good time. Something recently made me wonder… do people say that because they didn’t have stress as a kid, then have no joy in their middle-aged-ness, … Read more
Sometimes, we have stuff going on and a friend will make an inquiry. This is a good thing—we want our friends to notice and care when we have stuff going on. We want them to try to understand us, right? But we’ve all been there, where someone asked us about what was going on and … Read more
Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of my senior recital, a performance required for graduating with a music degree. It is one of the accomplishments in my life that I’m most proud of, and it represents a pivotal shift in my thinking. While my mindset on many things has changed over time, I can’t imagine another … Read more
Most of the time, I write blog posts within a week of publishing them (though rarely the same day). Most of the time, I prepare food the day we’re going to eat it. Most of the time, I do laundry when I’m almost out of the type of clothes that I’m washing. Or I’m out … Read more
The following things happened in one 40-minute conversation with my brilliant book club. One member noted that in this week’s lesson for an online course she’s taking, the book we’re reading came to mind several times because the messages were similar. Another noted that in several spaces in her life recently, including our book, people … Read more
A memory that came up from third grade or younger… I’m watching a couple of adults have a conversation. The person talking isn’t noticing that the person listening is clearly not interested in what they have to say. Fear of being clueless like that is part of what stopped me from talking much to people … Read more
Years ago, I read this piece on using passwords as a tool to change mindset. The gist is: make your password a statement to remind yourself of what you want. I used it at work, where I’d have to log in multiple times per day, and while I didn’t see the depth of results he … Read more